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(This is Not a) Love Song

This is Not a Love Song

Katy Krassner

February 10, 2022
Let’s all agree on one thing right now: Valentine’s Day sort of sucks. Even if you have a Valentine, it raises this weird bar, and why? Does it really prove your love if you get your significant other a gift? Your partner may be canoodling with everyone but you so what does a really nice gift prove? And if you don’t have someone to share the day with, you walk around feeling crummy about yourself, so that stinks too. Therefore, in this blog, I am going to celebrate my 10 favorite anti-love songs. Come join me!

(This is Not a) Love Song”-  Public Image Ltd.  

This was the PiL’s biggest commercial hit – take that, St. Valentine – and is apparently about corporate greed. We do, however, know it’s not a love song because lead singer Johnny Lydon says it 44 times. Just in case you weren’t sure.

Girlfriend in a Coma” – The Smiths

There were times when I could/Have murdered her/But you know, I would hate/Anything to happen to her.” A song filled with schadenfreude, it’s pretty clear that Morrissey doesn’t really like his girlfriend, and knowing Moz, he probably doesn’t care about her either. I’ll take your coma and raise you a broken heart too. Yikes.

I Don’t Want Your Love” – Duran Duran 

Even if the song isn’t about breaking up with someone, it’s a good title to throw around on Valentine’s Day, isn’t it? The cover of the single shows a heart with an X through it, so that’s really all it needed to make it on the list. Also, you can dance to it.

Blue Valentine” – Tom Waits

Tom’s singing the blues, and we get it. “She sends me blue valentines/All the way from Philadelphia/To mark the anniversary/Of someone that I used to be.” This one hurts. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the 2010 super-sad break up movie with Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams is also called “Blue Valentine.”

All Too Well (Taylor’s Version) – Taylor Swift

We may need a drink to get through this one. The Queen of diss, the Mistress of making the boy pay, the Principessa of pissed-off ex-girlfriends, the Chairman of the Board of break-ups really, really gets it right on this track. Watch yer back, Gyllenhaal. 

Cry Me A River “– Justin Timberlake

Speaking of bitter breakups, did someone say J. Timberlake? I did (raising hand!) Whether or not his version of events is accurate, he seemed pretty angry that the girl he gave his heart to stomped all over it.  “You don’t have to say what you did, I already know, I found out from him.” Collective “Oh dang”s abound. 

Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” – Mark Ronson feat Miley Cyrus

This song was inspired by Mark Ronson’s divorce from French actress Joséphine de La Baume (don’t feel bad, he has remarried). He was also inspired by – and you can hear it – Dolly Parton’s “Jolene.” About 10 months after this song came out, Miley announced her own divorce from actor Liam Hemsworth. Foreshadowing? Sigh.

Blow Me (One Last Kiss)” – P!nk

If Taylor Swift is the Queen of breakup songs, then P!nk is the Queen of “I don’t give a crap, I am not hanging on to a relationship that’s not working for me.” Major girl power! “I think I’ve finally had enough/I think I maybe think too much/I think this might be it for us.” She’s taking back her power and letting girls everywhere know you shouldn’t stay where you’re not wanted (or appreciated). Word!

Sorry” – Beyonce

“Her heaven will be a love without betrayal”

Let that sink in there for a few minutes. 

Go F**k Yourself” – Two Feet

Valentine’s Day or not, this song is a jazzy bummer. Someone’s not happy, and they’re singing about it over a cool bluesy drum and bass beat. 

Inspired yet?! Even if you’re more of a lover than a fighter, why not celebrate this Valentine’s Day by writing a super-nihilistic song about everything that is making you mad right now?! I mean you could write a loved-up ballad, but what’s the fun in that?! Jk. With Play MPE you know that you can get that brand new song into the ears of tastemakers everywhere including music supervisors who may very well be on the hunt for a super-emo and/or angry song for that intense breakup scene, and your track could be top of mind! And if you have read all the way through this post, you now have ten songs to inspire you!

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